I think we all have a love/hate relationship with Saturn. He keeps us safe, protects us from our silly impulses, and holds us in place until we’ve earned the right to advance further in life. But he also impedes us, keeps love at a distance when we want it the most, and gives us that ever-present sense of imperfection in at least one area of our life.
And when it comes to partnerships, Saturn can be exactly what you need or everything that is wrong with your ability to fully connect with another. I will write another post on Saturn aspects in synastry as a follow-up to this one because there is so much more to cover and house overlays, of course, cannot tell the whole story. (If you are interested, my previous post on Saturn-Mars synastry can offer a piece of what’s to come.)
Your partner’s Saturn in your First House:
Your partner’s Saturn here can make you feel judged, criticized, and/or held to a standard no one has asked of you before (unless you natally have Saturn in the 1st, in which case you are already your own worst critic and this energy likely won’t be as jarring from a partner.) The root of this judgement from your partner is often envy - the way you present yourself inspires envy in them because they are essentially lacking in this area (dress, looks, manners, socialability) that comes so easily to you. This can be a binding position, especially if conjunct the Ascendant, but it needs a lot of other supportive aspects to soften Saturn’s heavy-handedness. This can often be found in relationships where one is literally the student and the other the teacher or clergy, or superior. In those instances, this is a natural expression of that dynamic hierarchy inherent in the relationship and can help you mature, but only if they wield that power with benevolence.
Your Saturn in your partner’s First House:
You can be harsh and critical of your partner’s way of dress and personal expression, mannerisms, personality etc. You may not be aware you come across this way, or you ARE aware and think you are simply trying to be helpful, but it is best to keep your constructive criticism, both constructive and give it only when solicited. You are in a position of natural authority over your partner and they look to you for guidance and approval – use this authority kindly and wisely. The truth is that the things that you see as “flows” in their behavior are really a reflection of what you seek to suppress the most in yourself. Think about it: does their loud laugh draw attention that you are afraid of, and so you ask them to keep it down? Does their writing style remind you of all the times you were disciplined for going outside the lines and so you feel you must “teach” them the same? Always check in on the real source of your criticism before offering your opinion. It can hurt more than you realize.
Your partner’s Saturn in your Second House:
Your Second House is the seat of your self-esteem and self-worth. Yes, it is also your house of earned income and things you possess and no, those two ideas are not mutually exclusive. Allowing someone’s Saturn here can depress both of those areas and make you feel as if you have to work hard to earn your partner’s love and respect. Or your partner’s behavior can depress your ability to earn money on your own or they are harshly critical as to how you do it. A buoyant natal Jupiter here would be the perfect antidote, but for most people this can be a difficult influence to bear. This would be a good position for your financial advisor. Or if you need to get your financial affairs in order, your partner can be a great help in this area.
Your Saturn in your partner’s Second House:
You don’t like the way your partner spends money. Or you don’t like the way your partner makes money. You feel like you have to take the reigns and manage the finances between you because there isn’t enough consideration given to the future or the concrete need to pay bills on time. You have some expertise that your partner doesn’t so be kind in administering it. They likely didn't have the same financial experiences and lessons as you and could use a little guidance. Unless you are working for them in a professional capacity, help them grow in this area slowly, instead of pushing for change all at once. (That is Pluto’s domain anyway.)
Your partner’s Saturn in your Third House:
Getting a straight answer or more than a few words out of your partner can be very, very difficult. If you have a strong Mercury emphasis in your chart I would pass on this relationship/interaction unless it was a necessary one. There is a blockage here and because communication is so essential to long-term relating, unless there are other strong Mercury synastry aspects (or a Jupiter overlay in their Third House to improve conditions) this is going to feel like talking to a wall most of the time.
Your Saturn in your partner’s Third House:
You probably don’t like the sound of your partner’s voice or their manner of speech. You find their thoughts immature, indelicate, and uninteresting. Or so you would make yourself believe. What may really be going on here is that they have a way with words and communication that you lack and wish came with as much ease as it does to them. This is a reflection of the Saturn-inferiority complex we all possess and then project onto others. If you aren’t mature enough you may not know how to handle what is really unconscious envy on your part, and instead turn to put downs or shutting your partner out instead. If you find yourself making the latter choice, then do save your partner the time and just keep your distance and move on.
This position can work however if you are a teacher, coach, or other authority figure in which case you can really connect with the House-holder to instruct and guide them. Their mind will mature with your influence here.
Your partner’s Saturn in your Fourth House:
The Fourth House is the seat of your soul, your emotional core. Harsh planets like Mars, Uranus, and yes, Saturn can be difficult here. A parent with their Saturn placed here would be a natural exception. A partner, romantic or otherwise, could have a depressing influence on your moods and inner-sanctum so be vigilant insulating yourself from their influence if necessary. They can make home-life feel like an austere place with lots of rules and restrictions, or contribute someway to an emotionally cold environment. Understand the issues they bring to this part of your chart are their own, and you do not have to take ownership of them, however familiar and inherited it may feel.
Your Saturn in your partner’s Fourth House:
You have a dampening affect on your partner’s emotional center. You can be a bit of a downer and want them to spend more time at home with you and less time out in the world or striving at work. Your insecurities are what drive these feelings and you must address the ways in which your partner emotionally expresses himself or herself that makes you feel vulnerable. You can still deeply love someione and not be aware of how your insecurities are a weight on the relationship. Fight against your darker impulses and work on yourself to be an example for your partner. You may be around for a while, especially if your Saturn is conjunct their IC, which can be a binding placement. Be their protector as best you can, but also give them space and freedom to grow by not undermining their emotional needs.