There is no doubt that Saturn is the glue in long-term relationships.  Any student of astrology, casual or otherwise, must know this rule to be able to begin to truly understand karmic relating between two people.  And unlike what we see with aspects between other planets, Saturn aspects (in synastry) to personal planets, especially the hard ones, make us stop and bear the burden of relating. 

Maybe not forever, but for a time. And usually for a significant amount of time.

This will no doubt be hardest on Uranian individuals, meaning people with lots of planets in Aquarius, in the 11th House, in hard or soft aspect to Uranus, or with Aquarius on the cusp of the 5th/7th / or 8th house.  Unless there is a heavy Saturn-Uranus signature in this individual’s natal chart, a heavily Uranian chart is going to feel trapped in a profound way with hard Saturn synastry aspects to personal planets.  It will take A LOT to get them to stay.

I have a client with Venus in the 11th house conjunct her partner’s Saturn.  There is an immediate and deep attraction that goes on with Saturn conjunct Venus that shows itself through commitment, purpose, and a steady, if unexciting, courtship. Saturn is the cold, dark, critical but hard-working, honest, and immovable force in all of us. Saturn is lonely and scared, most of the time, of never being good enough. But he will also work harder and longer than anyone else to get what he wants and needs.

And then he meets Venus. Venus is just going about her life, having fun, traveling, connecting with people, enjoying all manner of unconventional carnal delights (11th House), until one day she’s flipping her hair over her shoulder in a coffee shop and Saturn, standing behind her in line, takes a whiff.  He is stopped in his tracks and tries to catch a full glimpse of the beauty in front of him.  His first instinct will be disbelief and fear: how could such a creature exist when all he has seen in his world is coldness, harshness, and toil?  She’s so carefree, so effortless, she is warmth personified.  He manages to dig deep and use the strength of his other planets to get her attention. He wants to see up-close, touch, and better understand how such a woman is possible.  He cannot readily accept anything at face-value – he will test, and test, and retest to find proof of her realness.  He is all about reality and if there is anything about Venus that is not real, he will laser in on it and critique.  (And if he can’t readily find flaws, he will project his own.)  Venus is the ease and beauty he has worked his whole life to attain and has always been just out of his grasp.  But he’s found it in Venus and now his real work begins.

Saturn and Venus will love one another, at first unspoken and later with some official but maybe tacit form of agreement between them.  “You belong to me,” Saturn says as he wills Venus to stay.  And Venus, overwhelmed by the attention from a typically sober Saturn understands this to be meaningful and real.  So she stays.  It is lovely in the beginning, the warmth that Saturn so desperately craved is finally his and it is the escape he needs from the harsh world.  Venus has found a rock in Saturn that will protect her and provide security, but at the cost of emotional reciprocity and her affectionate nature questioned and at times rejected.  She knows Saturn needs her and she needs Saturn but things begin to feel business-like and confining for Venus.  She isn’t like her old self anymore after Saturn; more somber, mature in someways, subdued. 

Now if Venus is in Capricorn or has hard aspects to Saturn natally, she may welcome this sober form of love because it is familiar and what she thinks she deserves.  A Leo Venus, an Aquarius Venus, and definitely a Sagittarius Venus will not enjoy this kind of love.  Leo wants flattery and gifts and affection, Aquarius wants freedom to move and their interests shared and respected, and Sagittarius wants to not be tied down to anyone person for very long.  But if you add a Aquarian/Uranian condition to any Venus placement, they will not enjoy the confinement of a hard Saturn aspect.  Saturn is the father that criticizes you, shows minimal affection, and gives you a curfew, but he also pays the light bill and puts food on the table and considers this evidence of his love.  It is a personal choice if you choose to accept this version of love to the finality of the relationship.  Other aspects may keep the Uranian-Venus around longer, but it will feel like a prison and it very much depends on what level of constraint they are willing to endure. But for most, it is too much to bear and they will leave Saturn, not because of a lack of love, but because of a love for their personal freedom.